The Power of Hard Truths
What I learned from the Podcast with Parmita…
"Hey, you've got something in your teeth."
What a horrid feeling. You're mid-conversation explaining how your day has been going, and BAM! The person you're talking to stops you to tell you that there's something in your teeth staring right at them. You just want to get inside of a hole and cry. The other person made you feel so embarrassed. But I'm here to tell you that you must keep that person for the rest of your life. The other person is what you call a true friend.
I know. Someone telling you something embarrassing about yourself isn't exactly what you think is the gold standard of a friend. But that's what precisely makes them a golden person.
Imagine this. Until this person finally told you that you had something in your teeth, how many people did you talk to before that didn't? Probably quite a few. So, knowing that you have something in your teeth, you can remove it and speak to the rest of the people throughout the day confidently, knowing that you don't look silly. While the person may have caused you a moment of awkwardness, they also saved you hours of embarrassment.
The people who bluntly say, "You aren't looking your best", are the ones that you should look to keep in your life. Whether it's "you're overweight", "your style isn't great", or even "you've got something in your teeth", these are all statements that will save you in the long run. You can swiftly diffuse your weaknesses by having people who acknowledge obstacles holding you back from unlocking your best self. This allows you to accentuate your strengths and be more self-confident.
The friends who tell you that you look great, even when you look like an absolute mess, aren't being great friends. They may care about you but not enough to be honest and help you improve.
Some people will also call you out to make themselves feel better. But it's quite clear when someone is doing it for malicious reasons. For example, if someone calls you out in front of others when they could have done it privately, it's evident that they aren't looking out for your best interests. Cut them out of your life as soon as you can.
The person who pulls you to the side and privately tells you that you have a flaw that can be fixed, as much as it may hurt in the moment, indeed has your best interests at heart.
So, next time someone pulls you to the side and tells you that you've got something in your teeth, don't apologise in embarrassment but say "thank you" in grace.
